i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize