he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
