does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
