help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
