Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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