I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
