she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
