just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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