Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When are your genitals available?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need water and some morals
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
