Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
