Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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