I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
