she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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