Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
