I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
