Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize