David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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