Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I want a musical about memes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize