The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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