I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
