Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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