I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
