Just fell off a train. Bad.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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