I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
