Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize