His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
