I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He did a backflip because drugs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
