Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
