Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
