Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
