I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
