This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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