The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
