You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
