If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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