Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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