where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this is an emotional support booty call
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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