had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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