and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
