at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
