If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
