Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
