Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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