I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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