I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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