I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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