Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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