So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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