He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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