She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
