Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
