Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
