Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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