3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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