Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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