You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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