her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
