That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
